The Reluctant Trick Or Treater

I think when you take a holiday that is surrounded by intense social interaction, approaching and communicating with strangers, asking appropriately for free candy, mixing with large groups of strangers and scary visages everywhere and mix it with a child with Autism, well, at first I'd rather not.  Then, when I look through the pictures I have of the kids at Halloween and the absolute blast they've had, it's hard to not be excited for them.

I am one of those adults who is NOT into Halloween.  Truthfully?  I'd rather sit on the porch and see all the little ones come up in their adorable costumes and hand out candy to them.  Then, as it gets later and the older kids are out before heading in to get ready for the office the next day (well at least they LOOK that old sometimes), I can then slam the door, turn out the lights and listen to the curse me as I hide inside, pulling out the bag of good stuff I kept for myself.  C'mon, we all do it.  Mary Janes and Tootsie Rolls?  Take as many as you want kids!  Three Musketeers?  They're mine and if you want to look like that smashed pumpkin in front of the neighbor's house, just try to take them!!  Ok, sorry,  flashback to the sugar rush of '02.  I'm OK now. 

But seriously, I do it for the kids.  I don't like the darker side of Halloween and it's hard to avoid when so many really go to town with their property and costumes.  So, I like that early part of the evening when all the tiny ones are out.  A is 13 this year and frankly, I wish he would just say, "You know what Mom?  I'm only five inches away from being six feet tall, so I think staying home on Halloween would be best".  But NoooOOOOooo.  I won't get that lucky.  His best friend is like over two feet shorter than him.  I wish they could coordinate some bizarre thing together, but I'm sure this kid already has his costume ready to go.  S is six and I already found the requisite sparkling, satin and sequined monstrosity that is the Barbie crinoline, tulle, lace, bubble gum pink gown along with the flashing crown, sceptor and earrings and 26" beaded, hot pink necklace.  Good grief.  I'm thinking of using a cane and going as my future self.

The first year we lived here, I didn't realize that many people in this area turn their property into a house of horrors.  Yeah, the whole gamut runs here:  headless people screaming, coming at you with fake bloody swords, strobes and black lights with fog and sounds of people being killed and ghoulish laughter.  Pretty cool stuff if you're into it, but for a small kid, let alone an autistic kid, it can be a nightmare.  Hell, some of them scared me pretty good!

I think there are a couple of things you can do short of denouncing the holiday.  My son was absolutely horrified of the scary places.  I can understand that, autism or not.  These are the things we did to ensure that the kids have always had a good time:

• Have everything ready so there isn't a lot of getting worked up over things that can't be found
• If you are setting a time limit, take along a timer so you can have a visual reminder of how much time is left
• Let the child tell you what scares them and take it as it comes.  One thing might scare them but the next thing might not, but it probably will.
• Avoid obviously scary houses with large, lurking/hiding creatures and people crying and shaking as they exit the property
• When the child has had enough, timer going off or not, it's time to come home.  Carry them if necessary if you can swing that AND your cane. 
• Candy gets heavy in a very short time.  Have a "relief bag" to carry if their pumpkin or bag gets too full and use the time they are at the door to seek out nourishment from the bag.  Hey!  Parents need candy too!

Short of telling your kids that Halloween has been canceled, following some common sense approaches to the holiday can make it fun for everyone.