Out of the Mouth of Babes

I just realized how long it's been since I posted.  Truly, it wasn't from lack of material, but from a lack of how to approach this subject.  Today, I am approaching the subject of racism, coupled with the oftentimes inappropriately blurted statements that come from all children and in this case, my autistic son. 

I consider myself to be a person who enjoys a variety of humor.  I like everything from Chris Rock to Jeff Foxworthy.  I like white humor, black humor, Hispanic humor, redneck humor, jokes about marriage and children.  However, when it comes to racism, I tend to come to a screeching halt with the whole laughter thing.  Less than a generation ago, shows like "All in the Family" and "Good Times" filmed these sitcoms awash with racial undertones and America loved it.  Office jokes starting off with, "A black guy, an Hispanic lady and a Jew...." were met with roars of laughter.  Today?  Not so much.  I wonder if today's youth could even wrap themselves around the concept of blacks having to sit at the back of a bus, be lynched or beaten for even whistling at a white woman, let alone marrying her and giving her children.  However, there are many of us still around who remember it. 

Today, these things have changed in America.  Slowly, yes, but they have changed.  There is no lack of racism in existence, but there have been great strides towards equality.  In the doctor's office with A. this past week, we lost a bit of progress.

After his visit with the therapist, we went out to the check out counter to make our next appointment.  The lady at the check out and I were exchanging pleasant banter about how close the Thanksgiving holiday was.  I was remarking about how Black Friday was upon us and was hoping to find a deal on a TV.  A., without giving so much as a second's notice, blurted out, "What's Black Friday, when all the black people steal all the cars?"  You know those commercials for Twix candy bars when someone says something horribly inappropriate and they get to eat a Twix and think it over?  I can tell you firsthand that this is not an option in real life!  I just looked at the lady and said, "No he didn't".  I immediately turned to him and asked him where on God's green earth he would EVER get such an idea and he didn't have an answer.  I told him he most certainly did not get it from me and he agreed.  He did not know and I turned rather serious and told him that we were going to have a very long talk after leaving the office.  She said, "It's OK" and I said, "No it is not OK" (pleasantly to her)  I told her that I would never tolerate such feelings or ideals in my family and that she could rest assured that it would be addressed.  I realize that people slip and with a child with Autism, they may hear things and think that it's OK and blurt it out trying to make a "joke".  I don't think he even really understands the racism in his statement.  However, I did take the time to have a long talk, informing him that there are good and bad people within every race, religion and creed.  I explained that there are bad people who come from every walk of life and no single race or gender is responsible for the ways of this world.  I think he got it.

He showed remorse and embarrassment and for a child with extreme social deficiencies, this is a good thing, a great stride in his life.  I don't think he will be making any like statements in the future and I told him that if he ever hears something that he isn't sure about, that coming to me and telling me will not get him in trouble.  He may get a lesson or we may learn about something together, but I will never chastise him for asking. 

The next time we go to that office and we are checking out, I will make sure that A. takes the opportunity to apologize and let her know that he learned about people of all colors and that there is good (and bad) in all of us.  I would like to think that this world is changing for the better.