The Joy of Shopping

Nothing says "Fun Family Outing" like taking the kids shopping with you.  I used to look at photographs of celebrities going to the store with a nanny in tow and would think, "Oh aren't THEY special.  They can't buy their $2800 Louis Vuitton bag without the help".  Then, I started taking A. out shopping with me and regretted not vetting more movie scripts years ago.  Oh wait, I never was offered a movie script!

Taking any child out with you to complete an errand is challenging for several reasons.  A)  They couldn't care less about what you are buying.  The only exception to this is a $300 shopping spree at the local toy store or a "Go ahead, get whatever you want!" candy store visit.  B) The aforementioned rarely happens and usually it's a trip to Target for new undergarments.  You can only delay the inevitable for so long by telling your child that we're headed to the store to buy you something!  Once they find out it's Fruit of the Loom and tube socks, the excitement quickly wears off.  C) Anything, even lying down motionless is more fun than shopping with a parent.

If I had a dollar for every time I've said such repetitious phrases such as, "If you don't stop carrying on RIGHT NOW, you're going to your room when we get home!" or "Keep it up and just see what happens when we get home!", my house would be paid off by now.  While threats help keep the illusion alive that we are in control of our children, they are usually only preventing the inevitable (see above photo).

So, what is an exhausted, busy parent to do?  Several things have worked for me.  Going without anything until they go to school for one, but we got pretty hungry and that didn't work for long.  Leaving them home with the other parent, a sitter or unsuspecting family member and then you just wind up spending too much money and lingering in the misses section reminiscing about when you used to actually wear those sizes and longing for those days (oops...tangent!).

What has worked for me is bringing along The Bag.  The Bag can be a special bag just for your child that is unique to their needs.  My daughter uses a nylon bag with stripes that seems indestructible, considering the owner.  Telling the child that they can bring anything they'd like along with them and letting them be in charge of picking the items out helps them feel in charge.  Also, if you decide to offer a 'reward' for good behavior, decide ahead of time so they don't think the Dell laptop is the reward for being good in Best Buy for 20 minutes while you pick out a movie for their sister's birthday.

While I can say with all certainty that I have not taken both children out together in the same store for a very long time (I don't have money to post bail), brief trips to the store can be successful.  If all else fails, follow through on the threat.  If you say you're going to leave the cart, leave the cart and go.  I don't advocate leaving your selections for someone else to put away, however I have spoken to enough cashiers, customers and store personnel over the years that they understand when a child is that out of control that you just need to go and it doesn't happen often enough that they have a person they've hired to just put away carts from unruly children and their freaked out parent, so it's all good.  Happy shopping!